I can't handle the lazy.

Guy at work was hired to replace me. I call him "Jabba" probably not nice but accurate, even down to the tongue.

Anyway, I asked him to do a few things that would help him learn what it is that I did for that client. He had to update a table with the names of people (spelled correctly) otherwise, the SQL tool I developed won't recognize the name and the formulas behind all the calculations for their commissions = $0.00 (not a good thing for people used to getting $25,000 checks on the 15th of the month).

He failed to spell people's name's right.
He failed to appropriately put in the correct %s.
He failed to tick-n-tie a spreadsheet with 20 lines on it (3 fields wide)
He failed to log into the system at all
He lied to my client about his background, saying he had SQL (finally telling me he thought it was the macro language in Excel)
He lied to the 3rd party vendor about his background in Excel (he thought pivot tables were ways to make Access speak to Word)

When I asked him what I needed to do to help him finish the tasks so he could learn my job? He responded,

"Well, develop a SQL app'y thing for Facebook so I can just speak to it and it can type out my messages. I'm too lazy to do that myself."

Then he asked me, "Do you think there's anything the client could do to keep you around?" No, Jabba, there's not.

Yeah, Jabba sits on cell phone all day, rubbing his belly, holding it up so he can see the latest FB message and/or post, takes 3 hours lunches, lies and gets paid

... @$55/hr.

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I can't handle the lazy.